Things I wish I would have known before leaving

————IMPORTANT: this article contains general information. Not my experience, or everyone’s experience. It is the result of a survery.———-

Welcome back guys! Today I do not feel that happy…maybe it is too hot, maybe it is PLL final episode’s fault, or mabe it is just because I will be home in 3 weeks. I decided to talk about bad things. Let’s be honest, being an au pair is not always easy, it is not a vacation. There are things that no one tells you ( no one = the agency), things that they hide from us. But now, I am here to share them with you.


  1.  No privacy. When you move into someone’s house, with stranger people, forget about having your own space! Few of us are lucky because they do not share the house with the hf but everyone else has to. We always feel like we are guests and it can be hard to feel 100% comfortable. Be honest, don’t you wait for them to leave the house before leaving your room during the weekend? Moreover the kids can come into you room even when you are off. What if I am shaving? or naked?
  2.  Back to past. In the States life is tough if you are under 21. I still do not believe how a lot of guys come here anyway. If you are undereage it will be like you are a kid again. You can not go to clubs, or pubs, or drinking with friends. I am 25 but I feel like I am 18 again, asking for permission to go out or take the car.
  3. Stress stress stress. Living with your employer is hard. It is a 24/7 job. You are never really off, it feels like you are always working. Even when you are outside with your friends, or during the weekend, because they can text you or call you to ask you if you know “where are my shoes?” or ” can you stop to buy some apples?”. Even now, that I am home alone in my room writing this article I feel like I need to be prepared for something.
  4. Feeling lost. At the beginning we all feel lost in a new family and in a new house. We do not know what to do, where to find and put stuff, we do not even now how the dishwasher works. It takes a couple of months to get used to everything, especially to the family’s habits.
  5.  Extra work. This is an important point. I am not talking about the extra hours (ILLEGAL!!!) that someone does but I am talking about all those ” favors” that we do for the hf. Many families, especially if they are new in the program, do not even know what are job includes; other families know that pretty well but they take advantage of us.
  6. Loneliness & Homesickness. I put them together because I think they are related. It is not easy to feel part of a new community, meeting new people. Feeling loneliness is one of the worst thing ever. Did you feel that? When you want to go out but you do not know anyone or when you need a friend but no one is there for you. We move into a new culture, different from ours, different habits and way of thinking about relationship.  This feeling can lead you to feel homesick. That is your comfort zone, you have your family, your friends, you know places and people. You will miss your old life but it is only because you did not start your new life yet.


I hope that I did not scare you XD

If I did not, share and subscribe! 

3 pensieri su “Things I wish I would have known before leaving

  1. Laurel

    You shouldn’t speak for all aupairs. I understand that you might be sad that your experience wasn’t the best but you should state that this is your opinion and experience and you shouldn’t generalize. Just saying. Hope the last few months will be good.

    "Mi piace"

    1. milena and the big apple

      I am sorry that you read the article in that way. That was not my message at all. I am not talking about my experience, I actually had a great time and I even stayed two years. If you read my old articles you’ll know that. I know a lot of au pairs, I read a lot of stories and I just wrote down about what au pairs usually complain about.I asked to a large group of them and these were the most common “problems”. Everyone has a different experience, I agree but as I said this is not about me at all.

      "Mi piace"

  2. giuliaruben

    Would you have done this experience if you knew it before leaving?
    I’m sure the answer is yes. There is always a side of the story that nobody tells you…otherwise there would be no adventure and personal growth….
    You are a different person from Milena who left home 2 years ago….there are many different things that nobody has told you yet to come…..but this is Life and the beauty it that you are going to find them out by yourself.
    Saying that it is important that other people willing to be au pair know that is not just “a bed of roses”.
    🙂 ♡

    Piace a 1 persona


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